001; username: eggman

[scrambledegg]

So as some of you may have noticed, we had ourselves a little double trouble around these parts lately. Even I wasn't spared some half boiled doppleganger trying to cause mischief and ruin my good name. [So far.]

But considering the circumstances, I figured it'd be a waste to just toss these things in the trash without at least doing some investigating, so I decided to cut one up. Not, you know, just for kicks or anything, but to try and see what we're working with here, just in case there was anything off about them.

Now, the general structure on the inside is about what you'd expect from a human. Same organs, same layout. Just try and remember your high school biology book's illustration of the human body and it'll match up just fine with these things. What is strange though, is on closer inspection all these organs on the inside are brand spanking new. Neither wear nor tear to be found. Even the stomach was completely empty, and when I say completely empty I don't mean it's been fasting for a few days, I mean I don't think it's ever eaten anything at all. I'd bet good money on the other bodies telling the same story.

So, my best guess? Well, as far as I'm concerned, these things were made and they were made recently. I'm going to go out on a limb and say their antics were likely intentional too. Someone's out there and they were trying to make things harder for us.

[But that's just, like, his opinion man. He's paranoid]

Oh, and I decided to spare most of you the gory details so I didn't bother taking any photographs, but if anyone out there's got a medical degree and feels like giving a second opinion on a corpse, feel free. This fake Abbacchio will probably hold up for a while longer before it starts to stink...once that happens it's going in the trash where it belongs.

Comments

un: lottie

[oomfies]

well. someone had to do it i guess

[ And better it be someone who has the stomach for it than Lottie, herself! ]

thanks for keeping us updated tho... it's gross but good to know
are you a doctor or something?
or like, i don't know, a surgeon?

[scrambledegg]

I am a scientist. My expertise lies more in robotics and engineering, but something as simple as this wasn't too difficult to pull off.

[He has a little computer in his glasses that helped a lot, too. But no need to say too much.]

[oomfies]

[ Even though he just confirmed he's more robotics than traditional doctor, Lottie still asks: ]

so in your expert opinion
what's the likelihood of all this happening again?

[scrambledegg]

Well, that all depends...

My running theory is they...SOMEONE created these things intentionally. If I were them, I'd probably try to refine the process and try again with superior clones. But someone else suggested they might just be something native to the area able to snatch another's appearance...if that's the case, it'd be inevitable more of them would show up and try the same thing.

So, I suppose pretty likely all things considered.

[oomfies]

ughhhh they WOULD come back!! they're the worst
at least we know they can technically die
i'm not suggesting, you know. killing them or anything

but it's gonna take us FOREVER to figure out the plumbing here to fix all the shit they ruined
and i'm not doing this a second time!

[scrambledegg]

[He was about to reply along the lines of "if they start shit they get hit" because he's got no problems with killing them, but he stares at the part about the plumbing for about a minute, thinking, before responding.]

The plumbing? What about the plumbing? Did they break it?

[oomfies]

in the gym, yeah
i have a feeling i know who did it

[ Of course.. She means her double - no one lives in the gym more than Lottie, the girl perpetually obsessed with using that sweet, sweet, clean water and everything else between. ]

idk how pipes work or if it affects other things
but it's busted over there

[scrambledegg]

[Plumbing. Plumbing, plumbing, plumbing...it sticks with him while he's reading her response, but he isn't really reading it, despite looking over it. Something's clicked in his brain about this whole copies situation.]

Putting that aside for a moment...when you arrived here, where did you end up?

[oomfies]

in that nasty mall water! where the escalator is
had to spend forever washing my stuff to get the smell out 🙄

[scrambledegg]

So did I. I saw quite a few other people submerged as well...

I can't say for sure if everyone woke up in that water, but I do wonder if it's related at all to what happened next.

[oomfies]

what... like the water birthed us and then accidentally made too many copies??

[scrambledegg]

Birthed us????

[THAT'S TOO EXISTENTIAL.]

No! No! Not at all! I mean, if you were going to clone a group of people, something like that would be a convenient way to gather the necessary samples!

[oomfies]

oh my god. EW

[ Somehow, that's even worse than the idea of being birthed in dirty, smelly, mall water!! ]

uueeegghh now i'm thinking abt all the hair we probably swam in
or like all the INSECTS that are in there!!