001; username: eggman

[scrambledegg]

So as some of you may have noticed, we had ourselves a little double trouble around these parts lately. Even I wasn't spared some half boiled doppleganger trying to cause mischief and ruin my good name. [So far.]

But considering the circumstances, I figured it'd be a waste to just toss these things in the trash without at least doing some investigating, so I decided to cut one up. Not, you know, just for kicks or anything, but to try and see what we're working with here, just in case there was anything off about them.

Now, the general structure on the inside is about what you'd expect from a human. Same organs, same layout. Just try and remember your high school biology book's illustration of the human body and it'll match up just fine with these things. What is strange though, is on closer inspection all these organs on the inside are brand spanking new. Neither wear nor tear to be found. Even the stomach was completely empty, and when I say completely empty I don't mean it's been fasting for a few days, I mean I don't think it's ever eaten anything at all. I'd bet good money on the other bodies telling the same story.

So, my best guess? Well, as far as I'm concerned, these things were made and they were made recently. I'm going to go out on a limb and say their antics were likely intentional too. Someone's out there and they were trying to make things harder for us.

[But that's just, like, his opinion man. He's paranoid]

Oh, and I decided to spare most of you the gory details so I didn't bother taking any photographs, but if anyone out there's got a medical degree and feels like giving a second opinion on a corpse, feel free. This fake Abbacchio will probably hold up for a while longer before it starts to stink...once that happens it's going in the trash where it belongs.

Comments

username: cinnabar

[globs]

[ this is less disgusting than it might be for anyone else, since they're used to body parts being picked apart and examined. ]

How do you "make" a human?

There was one of me too. It takes hundreds of years for a new gem to grow. I don't understand.

[scrambledegg]

A gem...?

Well, there are a few processes that can be used to artificially grow a desired gem. It tends to involve super heating certain chemicals and allowing them to cool, or using heat and great pressure to imitate the earth's own natural processes.

Theoretically, you could grow a human if you did something similar...only less heat. Some genetic material here, some artificial container there...I've never tried it, but I'm certain I could do it.

[Because he is PROUD of his BRAIN.]

[globs]

[ they know some of these words. ]

Even copies of people that already exist?

[ gem or human -- it seems unlikely. They're still not convinced that anyone could grow and refine a crystal into their exact likeness so quickly - to say nothing of infusing it with inclusions, and even having the material to create so much cinnabar crystal... ]

[scrambledegg]

Certainly. It's a tricky process, which doesn't take into account how identical they are to the original.

For example, while my own clone may have resembled me perfectly in appearance, I wouldn't spend my time trying to sabotage the wiring here when it doesn't benefit me whatsoever while I'm stuck here. They were able to leave out things like that...very unsophisticated attempts at copies, but it would save a lot of time if all they had to do was pass for us while undermining our chance at survival.

[globs]

You know a lot about this.

[ unspoken but obvious wariness. this all sounds like magic to them, but they're well aware that they're out of their depth when it comes to just about everything in this place. ]

[scrambledegg]

That's because I am the world's greatest scientific mind! With an intellect like mine, almost anything is possible.




Assuming the proper materials are at hand.

[WHICH THEY AREN'T. Woe is him, he suffers, he bleeds.]

[globs]

[ wow................. a nerd. ]

What about getting back home, then?

[ let's cut to the chase here. ]

[scrambledegg]

The proper materials aren't at hand.

If they were, I could easily send every last one of you home.

[globs]

Convenient.

[ they'll believe he can do it when he does it, they suppose... it was too much to hope for. ]

[scrambledegg]

Well, I'd like to see you do better! Building an interdimensional portal generator with only the items you'd find at a normal shopping mall would be difficult enough even if it weren't in such shoddy conditions like this place is!

[globs]

I never said I could do it. I can't.

Does that mean something like that already exists? Someone else had to use something to bring us here.